Navigating Fear on Trail Rides

There's something really special about trail riding with friends and horses. The sounds of nature and hoofbeats and quiet conversations are some of the best experiences you can have on horseback. But, as much as I wish it was, trail riding isn't always a relaxing time, especially when we're fighting our nerves, our horse's nerves, and the spookier parts of the environment.

It's not always the scary off-leash dog running at us that can set off my horse, Two Socks. Sometimes it's the horror of a plastic bag, a bird flying overhead, squirrels moving through the leaves, or an unfamiliar* object on the trail, (*which we've seen five times before). And while I objectively understand that horses see the world differently than we do, it's sometimes hard to remember in the moment.

Staying Calm

When that happens, it's up to me to remember that the first priority isn't all about pushing past whatever the scary object is. My main goal is to help my horse feel safe enough to think and set us up for success both in this moment of fear and for future similar experiences. And for better and for worse, that starts with me.

I know that if I tense up, choke up on the reins, or start anticipating a spook, there's a good chance Two Socks is going to notice and he's going to do the same thing. Horses are incredibly aware of our body language, so I have to make a conscious effort to take a deep breath, soften my body, and remind myself that if I stay calm, he's more likely to do the same.

I also try not to rush him. If he wants to stop and take a look, I let him. Giving him a few moments to safely observe whatever caught his attention is usually a lot more productive than insisting he march past it immediately. Oftentimes, curiosity wins out once he realizes nothing is actually chasing him and we have a great moment to reinforce his natural inquisitive nature over his spooky instincts.

Taking a moment to stop and stare doesn't always work, though, and if he's still feeling uncertain, I'll ask him to move his feet a little. Maybe we'll take a few steps forward, but if that doesn't work we can always circle quietly nearby, or gently back up a few steps before trying to approach again. The goal isn't to wear him out or force him through it, I just want to try and redirect his nervous energy towards something productive while reminding him that we're working through it together as a team.

Growing Confidence

But no matter how many times I take a deep breath or Two Socks marches quietly past the scary things, I know that true confidence on the trails doesn't come all at once. Sometimes progress looks like walking by the scary rock without hesitation and continuing on, and other times it's simply taking three brave steps to pass it before deciding that's enough for today and ending with a deep breath and a pat. Just like with staying calm, it's up to me to have the perspective to celebrate both.

I try to remind myself that even on the bad days where we end up turning around, ending on an overall good experiences are what we build on the next time we're faced with a challenge.

I've also been lucky to ride with my friend Caitlyn, whose approach to horses is very similar to mine. One thing we've noticed over the years is how much our horses feed off each other. If one horse confidently walks past something spooky, the other is a lot more likely to agree it's probably safe after all. It's a great reminder that confidence really is contagious, sometimes it's between horse and rider and sometimes it's between the horses themselves.

It's hard to see in the moment, but looking back on our experiences, I can see now that all those victories, big and small, do add up! The rustle of squirrels in leaves that once seemed terrifying barely gets a second glance. The mailbox that caused a dramatic stop-and-snort last month becomes just another landmark on the trail. It doesn't happen overnight, but every positive experience builds trust, which is sometimes even more rewarding than the trail ride itself. I love exploring new places and seeing how trails evolve over time and seasons, but trail riding is also one of the best opportunities I have to strengthen my partnership with Two Socks. Every unexpected moment gives us another chance to practice patience, communication, and trust. And at the end of the day, my goal with horses has never been to have a horse that's never afraid, after all, Two Socks is a horse, he's always going to be wired to notice threats before I do! My goal is just to hope that when something surprises him, he learns to pause, take a breath, and trust that we'll figure it out together.